She’s blooming in the sunlight,
moonlight, glimmering like seaside salt.
Melting in her arms as if
we were honeycomb on toast.
Sticky kisses, curls and freckles,
never hungry, bless your soul.
It's the rose flavour in the water
that somehow brings my breath to halt.
Why do I hurt myself so?
Beat myself to your own drum,
to which I march in vapid squalor.
I soldier on, step lead and glum.
Why do I rescind my valor,
my misery worn on your tongue.
I watch it dig up old wounds, shallow,
deliver my heart to a loaded gun.
Anew your smile triggers my scorn,
ere had I hoped my thoughts would hallow.
I thought this fear was long since shorn,
But it's ingrown deep, to my bone marrow.
I feel an itching sense of ruin
as if everything will go wrong.
Like a black cat on a dead man's chair,
I disregard where I belong.
I feel an uninvited presence
of imminent, unknown despair.
Yet I've no hints of what will tumble.
I only know, somehow, I'll break.
What's it worth to wish for
a lover singing in the garden,
when your heart is trained forever
on all the shadows of the house.
