Go To Your Room

And you can’t see it because I can’t let it out.

I look like I’m taking a nap but in my head I’m losing my mind

Im hitting my head again the wall, scratching my knuckles until I bleed, screaming, rolling on the ground

Im breaking furniture and my mood swings so violently I can’t keep up, I can't even look at myself

But I can’t let it out

I don’t know how to let it out

I’ve lived like this for so long, that I physically can’t let it out

My body just shuts down

I get aggressive and I get angry and sad and crazy

And my body gets sleepy, so I lie down

And I close my eyes and disconnect 

All the while inside I’m losing it

And I’m afraid of what it would look like if I ever snapped and let it out

Because there’s so much of it

But all my body lets me do is cry

All I do is scratch my skin and cry

And fall asleep again

And my brain forgets what I even thought or what I even felt

Until it comes back up and I remember

And I fall asleep again.