And you can’t see it because I can’t let it out.
I look like I’m taking a nap but in my head I’m losing my mind
Im hitting my head again the wall, scratching my knuckles until I bleed, screaming, rolling on the ground
Im breaking furniture and my mood swings so violently I can’t keep up, I can't even look at myself
But I can’t let it out
I don’t know how to let it out
I’ve lived like this for so long, that I physically can’t let it out
My body just shuts down
I get aggressive and I get angry and sad and crazy
And my body gets sleepy, so I lie down
And I close my eyes and disconnect
All the while inside I’m losing it
And I’m afraid of what it would look like if I ever snapped and let it out
Because there’s so much of it
But all my body lets me do is cry
All I do is scratch my skin and cry
And fall asleep again
And my brain forgets what I even thought or what I even felt
Until it comes back up and I remember
And I fall asleep again.
