Why do I hurt myself so?
Beat myself to your own drum,
to which I march in vapid squalor.
I soldier on, step lead and glum.
Why do I rescind my valor,
my misery worn on your tongue.
I watch it dig up old wounds, shallow,
deliver my heart to a loaded gun.
Anew your smile triggers my scorn,
ere had I hoped my thoughts would hallow.
I thought this fear was long since shorn,
But it's ingrown deep, to my bone marrow.
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